Back in the Saddle Again

Hello, it's been awhile, hasn't it? A few years since I've stepped into this space to pour my heart out and share my stories. And so much has happened! A return to scholastic life, a tumble on a trail run leading to a broken kneecap and surgery, a terrifying dance with cancer leading to more surgeries, the dreaded chemo and, finally, a decision to settle down for a moment and catch our breath, regroup and get our feet back under us. Maybe one of these days I'll have the courage to rehash some of the awful stuff that I slogged through but, right now, all I want to do is take a deep breath and begin moving forward again.

So, let's just start from here, with here being a little Montana town tucked in between snowy mountains on the banks of a big river. My other half has accepted a job which will keep us in one place for awhile. We've been doing the traveling road show for so long now that we both are wondering how we'll do with our feet planted in one place for more than one season but, fingers crossed! And since we are more than ready for a bit less excitement (read: stress) in our lives, we're making the decision to leap back into our old "normal" (read: baking in a full-size oven. Yippee!). First, sell the RV, then find a place to call home and, last, settle in. Not a bad place to settle, that's for sure.

I'm feeling a bit rusty at the ol' blogging thang so please bear with me while I work out the kinks and get back into my rhythm. I hope to reconnect with old friends and maybe make some new friends along the way. And, oh, I have lots to share; from exploring this corner of Montana to my trials and tribulations of mastering artisan bread with a sourdough starter (help!). Is anybody out there willing to ride along with me? If so and if you're ready, let's saddle up! We're off to new adventures!

Wow! What a ride!

"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!" ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Bonfire at Hotel Albert

Those immortal words of Mr. Thompson have never rang so clearly in my mind as they do this December afternoon. I'm staring down at the end of 2011 and standing on tiptoes to try to get a clearer view of 2012 fast approaching. I can not believe my last post was in May. So much, SO MUCH, has happened since then!

Life these past seven months (7 months!) was full-throttle, sparkling and full of possibilities. Full of love and friends and reconnection. We worked hard, we played hard, we laughed....a lot. And, yet, it was also cloudy with confusion, struggle, sadness and loss. 

Since my last post, I have been from here

The Pioneers

To here

 

Beach babies

 

From here

 

Kayaking in Glacier or, as we like to call it, heaven

To here

Charleston churchyard

We've enjoyed bonfires, a wedding of a childhood friend, a celebration of 40 years (my brother), and get-togethers with dear ones from close and far away.

Getting my caulk on at Hotel Albert

We've hiked, argued, learned how to install a metal roof on an old hotel (thus the arguing!), kayaked, rode moonlight bike rides through Yellowstone, explored historic southern cities and old, western ghost towns. We've traveled and explored Montana, South Carolina, California, Idaho, Washington and Oregon. And, I started back to school with the vision of a bachelor's degree in my sights.

Ghostly Bannack

And, we've cried. We lost one of our four-legged family members this fall. Riley. His spirit was willing but his body gave out so...we learned a serious lesson in saying goodbye. And...of carrying someone in your heart. 

Our Riley. We miss him.

And now we find ourselves at the end of 2011. I'm sitting here in the sunshine of California, soaking it up as our next move is looming ever closer. Nina Simone is singing Sinnerman. She sings of prayers, "Don't you see me down here praying?" I'm not a much of a pray-er, not even sure if my prayers will be heard but.... today I pray. I pray that 2012 is as chock full of adventure, love, family and friends as 2011 ever was. I pray I make it through my degree quest and I can come out the other side proud of what I've accomplished. I pray that Riley, my honeybun boy, finally catches that rabbit he was chasing all his life and I pray he's sitting in a little patch of sunshine of his own. I pray that the world can find a respite from the weariness and embrace a bit of peace. And I pray for you, for all of us. I pray that this New Year is full of many wonderful things....with maybe just a bit of magic sprinkled in. 

May you have a good ride in 2012 and a very blessed and Happy New Year!

Cruising Home and Settling In

We made it! Ahh, our feet are firmly and happily planted on Montana soil once again and we haven't stopped moving since we arrived. We've reconnected with friends and family, I've started my pastry class (more on that soon!), we went and checked out the old motel we bought (that's a whole post on its own) and Erik even raced in the Rocky Mountain Roubaix. 

I'm still trying to unpack and settle us in our new location, Dillon, MT but here are a few photos of our roadtrip home and our first week back.

We went from this....

...to this. Well, hello, Dillon.

Our movable sporting good store

Downtown Durango. Finally, mountains and microbrews!

We went treasure hunting in Gallup, NM. I just couldn't resist these beauties.

 

What?! Green grass and no stickers? Riley thought he'd died and gone to heaven.

The new project, Hotel Albert.

Racing the Rocky Mountain Roubaix

Life is sweet thanks to my new friends at Posh Chocolat.

Everybody Challah! Loving my pastry class. Yes, mine's the round one in the middle.

Oh, those Pioneers! Looking forward to getting to know you better.

A view out my window

Sneaking off for a little fishing. This is our new backyard.

Evening fly-fishing. At least I'll know where to find him.

3 Weeks and 2 Days Until Liberation

Sometimes you just want to go home. Now, don't get me wrong, I love this traveling lifestyle. I still enjoy the waking up in new places and that moment of, "Where the heck are we?" and soaking in the scents and smells and sights and, well, different-ness of a new location, the peculiarities that make it so NOT home. It's fun, exciting, always an adventure. But, so far, no matter where I am, no matter what I'm doing, after a few months, it always hits. That longing for familiar. The longing for those sights, sounds and smells that set your heart to singing. And then you know...it's time to go home.

I haven't made it a secret that this assignment has been a challenge for me which makes the desire to get the hell out of Dodge (or Clovis, as the case may be) that much more intense. In one of my melancholy moods, I happened to pick up an old journal and I read something I wrote that really just sums it up.

 I remember the day so clearly. It was May of last year and we were on our assignment in Billings, MT. It was a Saturday and we had headed off into the mountains to soak up a gorgeous spring day. I was sitting in the sun on the bank of the Stillwater River while Erik chased fish and the dogs flopped on the grass beside me.

Erik and Riley flyfishing on the Stillwater River

May 8, 2010 - The leaves on the trees are bursting out, the birds are so active, the Swiftwater rushing by makes such a beautiful melody. What a gorgeous day! Mid-40's, sun is shining, snow on the ground around me but patches of spring grass warmed by the sun offers an inviting space for the dogs to stretch out on.

Oh, Montana, how I love you! Fickle though you may be, your beauty, your generosity makes the temper tantrums worthwhile. I am already feeling the loss of leaving you and moving on to our next stop even though I know adventure awaits. The gypsy life is a strange one. The thrill of waking up and wondering, "Where am I today?", the discovering of new places, new people never gets old.

Yet, I can't help looking back over my shoulder as I walk away at what I'm leaving behind. That sense of melancholy knowing you'll go on without me while I'm gone. Your snows will melt, your flowers will bloom and I'll be far away finding different flowers, different spaces but none to compare with those of my beautiful Montana.

Montana Wildflowers

 So, there you have it. And in 3 weeks and 2 days, we're heading back to Montana for the summer. Ahhhhhh......(soul-deep sigh).

Yep, I love traveling, love moving on. But, you know what I love even better?

Going home.

Zootown

We took a little trip home this past weekend to take care of some business and reconnect with friends and family. The drive was gorgeous as usual and I must say Missoula was in fine form!

I'm crazy over the Crazies! What a beautiful mountain range.

Kay and I enjoying coffee and treats at Bernices

My brother Tom on the Higgins St bridge

Party at Caras Park

Whitewater competition on the Clark Fork

Fiesta with friends and family at El Cazador

The Wilma looking majestic in the late afternoon sunlight

Running our favorite trail in Pattee Canyon

Daisy and Emma bringing up the rear

Ahhh, the drive home. Exhausted but oh so content.

Friends, family and a wonderful hometown. Who could ask for anything more?

Ode to My Xtra Tufs

Ah, fickle spring. It snowed here today and as I watched my dogs frolic like maniacs while I stood ankle deep in white stuff and froze my ass off, I looked down at my ugly, brown boots and thanked my lucky stars that my good friend, Nadia, has the gift to look past the trappings and see the beauty of utilitarian. This one's for you, Nod!

Ode to My Xtra Tufs

Yes, I first said "Pooh, pooh!" when Nod said, "Oh, I do!" to those brown rubber boots in a row.
So ugly, so plain, my friend must be insane
to want footwear with no sizzle, no show.

Cause I'm just a girl who loves shoes.
Sandals with heels make me coo.
And these boots cause a fright,
such a horrible sight,
clunky rubber the color of poo!

But, alas!, oh how wrong could I be?
And this point was shown clearly to me
when the skies opened up,
that rain could have drowned a duck!
And my tootsies were wet as can be.

The mud, how it sucked at my heels.
Patent leather's no match for this deal.
And when it started to snow
I cried out "Oh no!"
and tore off to the store with a squeal.

And now there's no weather too buff.
No amount of rain, of snow is enough.
And when the storm clouds roll in
I just look up and grin
cause this girl's rockin' her Xtra Tufs!

Nadia, rockin' HER Xtra Tufs in Ketchikan

No Way, Jose!

I can't do it. No way, no how. Not happening. Nope. Uh uh, no, no, no. You can't make me....go inside. I just can't bring myself to stay inside when there is so much going on outside. Not to mention the scenery is drop dead gorgeous. So my laundry is piling up, my email is overflowing, my articles need to be written and the bookkeeping? Forget it!

Ah, springtime! The sun is shining, the birds are out in force and the wildflowers are blooming. I would be crazy to miss a SECOND of it. And my canine partners in crime feel no guilt in luring me outside to play, swim and explore. Not that I resist much...if at all. C'mon, can you blame me?

So, every morning I wake up and run through the list of all the things that must be accomplished that day. I have steely resolve as I leash up the troops to take our morning walk, telling myself that we won't dilly dally, that we'll go out, they'll do their business and we will come right back in and I'll get straight to work. Everything is going fine until that first soft, fragrant spring breeze swirls around me, tempting me to do a little happy dance. Then the contingent of robins start in with their "Good morning!" trills. The sun is just rising and casts a golden rosy glow on the landscape around me. Ahhh, heaven!


We make it through the field of newly blossoming wildflowers and step into the woods, heading for the river. The dogs are darting and sniffing and frolicking and I happily trail along behind them noticing which trees are starting to leaf out, watching the red fox dart across the wash, and listening to the local woodpecker tap, tap, tapping on the snag above me. There is a little herd of deer that we run into every day that stare cautiously back at us as we meander along. And once we hit the river, oh glory! The breeze brings fresh, new scents, the sun warms my face and the Canadian geese fly over honking encouragingly at each other.


If we're lucky, the beaver and his little beaver family are swimming nearby. He never fails to startle the crap out of me by slapping the water as loudly as he can with that monstrous tail of his (I think he gets some sort of sick amusement out of watching me jump and contort all Kramer-like). It's such a shock in the quiet stillness of the dewy morning but once he does it and gets his cheap laugh, he goes about his beaver morning and leaves us to enjoy our solitude.

At this point I realize my resolve is slipping and I round up the troops and we start making our way back home. I do usually get us back to get the breakfast served and the coffee brewed, to kiss the hubby as he heads off on his bike to work and sometimes I even get myself to sit down in front of the computer. I'm set, I'm ready, I have my list of all the things I need to get done right in front of me....and then I look up and get an unobstructed view of all the action taking place just beyond the glass. No! Focus! Must....get....through....list....

And that's when I feel a little nudge and I look down to see big, brown eyes looking hopefully up at me. Just one quick run, they seem to say. Just a quick sniff, a turn around the campground to see what's new. And I know I should resist. I KNOW I have a ton to get done...but.....I find myself lying on a patch of grass, with the sun sprinkling down on me through the new leaves that have just sprung and a dog, or two, or three rolling happily on their backs beside me, loving life, loving where this adventure has taken us and I just close my eyes and breathe it all in.

I can start on my list tomorrow......

Back under the Big Sky

We made it. Back to Big Sky Country and just have to say it's nice to be, well, home. Ok, not in my beloved Missoula and postcard perfect Western Montana but, still, under that glorious big sky and surrounded by those huge rivers, wide open spaces and, oh, those magical, mystical mountains. Friendly people, strong espresso and miles and miles and miles of trails to explore. Absolute heaven.

There is just something about this state that speaks so loudly and clearly to me. As we crossed the state line and Monida Pass in her icy winter finery spread out around us, I took a deep breath and just knew, yes, this is it. So far, in all of our travels nothing has come close to replacing Montana in my heart. Ok, yes, those Southern California beaches hold a special place (especially in the winter when my feet have been numb for MONTHS!) but, when play time is over, it's Montana that I want to come home to.

I can definitely say I'm still moonstruck in Montana......

Our new backyard

Chloe (above) and Riley (below) resting up for the next tracking expedition

On the hunt

Home Sweet Home

Even the plants are happy